A Blast from My Past

I have just returned home today after spending 4 days and nights in my former home town, Snyder TX. I was dreading going because there are still so many memories there that really tear at my heart. Snyder is where I was born and lived until age 10, moved back in 1982 and reared both my children there, both of them going all the way through the public school system in that one town, playing ball, learning about life, music and everything in between. My youngest son was brought home from the hospital to the house we built and lived in until I moved in 2002. We attended Calvary Baptist Church the whole time we were there and it is still home to me. I moved there in 1982 after my dad had passed away suddenly and left my mother a widow at the age of 53. I am older than that now and I can't imagine her living alone all those years until her death at age 74. Memories just flooded my mind the whole time I was there. Memories of people, places and conversations, activities, work, church and the busyness of life. There were memories even of food and we had to eat at all my favorite old places, except for one, Lota Burger, which is long gone, and everyone still misses it. I can still smell it and imagine the taste which nothing else even compares to. Yes, life goes on, people change, people don't change, the finality of memories and the frustration they bring makes it hard to go back and face those memories sometimes, but sometimes, you get a glimpse of a child playing in the backyard, making a good play during a game, first black eye, first piano recitals, solos, broken hearts, girlfriends, graduations and decisions that will affect you and and everyone around you for eternity. Sometimes I want so badly to go back and request a do over with the knowledge I have now, but that will never be a possibility and I am thankful for the blessed memories I have of my mom and my boys without knowing at the time what the future would hold for all of us. I would do well to remember that fact when I want so badly to know the outcome of the future.