Us Four, No More

I went to see my son and his little family last night. It was the last time we would be together just the four of us before the new addition to the family comes on the scene tomorrow. Of course we are thrilled about the new baby but there is a sadness that never again will the four of us be together like we were last night, where Ian is the only grandbaby. That sounds silly I guess but as I am writing this tears are flowing down my cheeks. He still seems so little and I know because I have two children, that just because you have a second child (or 5 more children) that you never love the first one any less. I think it is just realizing that everything is changing once again. Of course change is the only constant. Ian has helped my heart thaw out from past hurts and disappointments but he is a blessing as only grandparents can know blessings from grandchildren, and the love you have for them is a completely different love than you have for your children. Somehow though, the love I have for him is inexplicably tied to the love I have for his parents. I have a closeness with my son that is rare for most mothers, and I know it is a great blessing and I am thankful for him. I am also blessed that I have a great and wonderful daughter-in-law that has always blended into our family as if she was there from the beginning. I know there are times that she thinks we are weird and she gets tired of hearing our old stories, but she lets us reminisce and doesn't rock our boat about it. She is very private and we are anything but that. I can't imagine how Mac will impact our lives, I know he will be a blessing too, but I want Ian to know when he gets older that he was a blessing to his Grammy at this particular time in my life and I love him with all my heart. Right now he is still too young to understand that, but I hope someday he will know how much I adored him.